Civilians. I’ll never understand some civilians.Take today, for instance. There I was enjoying my day at our nation’s capital and taking a little break from the Sylar case when I look up and see some stupid clown hanging off the Chester A. Arthur Memorial Clock.
What do I do? I head up to arrest him, of course. It’s against the law in Washington DC to deface public property.
I bust into the room and command him to freeze and the perp’s packing! Something is definitely up in this room and it’s my job to get to the bottom of it, so I order him to drop the weapon and put his hands up.
“Don’t arrest me, please,” he said. “I’m Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator and one of the good guys. Let me show you.”I let the guy slowly and carefully take out his badge and do you want to guess what it is? A freaking Junior G-Man badge! And to top it off, he says that he got it for helping out the President with something.
I tell you, if the President made this guy an official junior agent, then that has to be his worst decision ever.
After a little internal debate, I decide to let him go. He seemed pretty desperate but harmless plus he had three greasy bikers unconscious and lying on the floor there and he said that I should take them in. Well, it’s not the biggest bust I’ve ever had, but they’ll do.
So the one guy takes off like a rabbit out of its hole and is gone and I’m stuck with his stupid mess and the mountain of paperwork that comes with it.
Good thing I like paperwork.
4 comments:
Does every FBI agent come across these odd characters?
hmmm I wonder if I could Mesmerize you?
If I come across a junior gladiator, I'll be sure to shoot first and shoot some more later.
No, Captain. I guess I'm just lucky.
I doubt it, Dracy. My extensive FBI training includes anti alien vampire mesmerization techniques.
Shoot him in the head, Glasses. No wait, I don't do that, I have to go rescue his butt.
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